Incorrigibly Plural

Went to a reading tonight sponsored by the English Department at Queen's University Belfast tonight, where poet Paul Muldoon read a poem entitled "Snow" by Louis MacNiece. I thought it really captured how I feel about the world at the moment, and here it is:

The room was suddenly rich and the great bay-window was
Spawning snow and pink roses against it
Soundlessly collateral and incompatible:
World is suddener than we fancy it.

World is crazier and more of it than we think,
Incorrigibly plural. I peel and portion
A tangerine and spit the pips and feel
The drunkenness of things being various.

And the fire flames with a bubbling sound for world
Is more spiteful and gay than one supposes -
On the tongue on the eyes on the ears in the palms of one's hands -
There is more than glass between the snow and the huge roses.



There are many times when I walk down the street in Belfast, sun shining, and rain falling on my face. And I think, "Yup, that's about right." There is so much in life that is so rewarding, and so much that is more challenging than I have ever experienced before. Acknowledging my priorities, while at the same time feeling the urge to totally break from them. The world isn't black or white or even gray, as I've seen lately. It's a checked pattern of happy and sad- challenges and rewards. Love and heartbreak. And after reflecting on this during the poetry reading, I think the point of it is just to learn how to embrace the ambiguity.

Gilda Radner once said, and it has been my favorite quote for years, the following:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."

Living in Belfast is so full of challenges and sometimes I learn so much in one day I think my head might explode or fall off my neck from the weight of it. At the same time, there are so many wonderful things I am experiencing, many of which I think may fit into the framework of the rest of my life. It sounds incredibly vague and indulgent, yes. But my experience here in Belfast has been exactly those two things, along with being quintessentially grown-up. Learning where budgeting and studying and socializing fit into the timetable of my day, all whilst learning an abstract ideal that the world is much suddener than I am inclined to believe. Accepting that all this could change within moments, and learning to embrace it.