Dotting my I's and Crossing my T's

Arrived into the Omaha airport on Friday afternoon, I was still feeling high on my recent travels. Until I hit a car, and busted out a tail light. When I made it out of the parking garage, I saw that it had snowed three inches. The next morning, I attempted to file my taxes, and learned that I make so little money, I am not required to file. What a wonder. What a weekend.

As gloomy of an experience that was, I am thrilled to say that the week previous to these events was fantastic. Over my Spring Break, I traveled back to Washington, DC, where I saw many old friends from that side of the states, as well as some new faces.

I arrived in DC on Monday night, where I spent the night in the old CHIP house with one of my Wesleyan friends. It was the strangest feeling- as though I had only been gone the weekend. I spent most of my trip mulling about town, walking down past the capitol, through the mall, and up through Metro Center. This time, I even snuck into Ford's Theatre-where Lincoln was shot- during a rehearsal. That night I went to the Kennedy Center to see some Irish dancing on the eve of St. Patrick's Day. My brother and I went out after wards for some lovely food. I had the best fish and chips of my life, served over homemade tartar sauce and drizzled with hot sauce. Even now, my mouth is watering. The next day, my brother Jeremy and I went paddle-boating on the Tidal Basin, right between the Washington Monument and the Jefferson. It was so beautiful- a gorgeous 75 degrees, so sunny you could die. That night was very important to me, as it was a primary reason for me to return to Washington, DC.

They say hind-sight is 20/20, and being back in DC really clarified for me all the lessons I learned there. My journey back made me realize that, in DC, I fell in love with being taken seriously. I was treated with respect, as though I were an adult, and grew accustomed to such treatment. This has made coming back to Nebraska very challenging for two reasons. A> I'm just a lousy college student, here, and sometimes I feel as though it wouldn't matter if I were here or not, and B> I have become more focused than ever on having people take me seriously. I can see the effects of this trickle down, especially in an academic sense.

After DC, I have started to take my studies more seriously, and this focus has led me to a class that I am currently taking called Prestigious Scholarship. In a lot of ways, this one-credit course has had the largest impact on my life of all classes. Once a week, a small group meets to workshop Prestigious Scholarship applications, and to work closely with a professor on them. Now that I am in this class, I have selected three prestige scholarships that I intend on submitting an application for.

This class forces me to call into question- weekly- my plans for the future. It forces me to evaluate my experiences, and apply them to my future. Sort of like academic group therapy. I feel a lot of pressure lately to perform at my highest level, and to not waste a minute of my time. While I feel I should be doing this, I am also left feeling exhausted, and even as though I am playing out of my league.

It is with all these emotions that I returned to DC. When I arrived, I found this: As intimidated I can be of the world around me, I must remember that not all have walked where I have walked, and have pulled it off.

ST. Patrick's Day night, I attended a reception hosted by the Embassy in honor of the Taoiseach (Prime Minister), as well as a few other Irish dignitaries. Now, I won't lie to the world, and say that I shook his hand, and he complimented my eyes, and we had a Guinness together. That is a bold face lie. I did not meet Mr. Brian Cowen, but as I stood there, listening to his speech, I had a thought: I really shouldn't be here. I mean, I am a 21 year old girl from Nebraska. Nobody I know could have just brought me to this. I did this on my own. I shouldn't be here, yet, here I am.

And it is times like these that I relax. And although I can't quite put it in words, little moments like these help me to realize something about myself that I haven't yet found the words to articulate. I guess, they make me feel, well, special. Like I'm on a path. And for as much as I worry, the good things that are supposed to happen are going to happen. All I've got to do is dot some I's and cross some T's to make sure that they do.